I Walk In Your Name

My loved one is the most compassionate people I know. He is the type of guy who will go in to a convenience store for something specific like a miniature cigar or a snack, and if a homeless person were to ask him for it r or something similar right after he got it, he gives it to them even if he doesn’t have the money for another. When he walks by a homeless person in a parking lot, he goes to his car, grabs as much change as he can, and gives it to him. He will play music on the streets and get tips from those who enjoy, and then give it all to the bums. These actions are done with and without being asked. Whenever I encounter a homeless person who asks for change, I always question what they are really doing with what they collect. I have a fairly strong impression that they use it for intense drugs and that is not what I want to help them do. My loved one has no expectations and no judgments. When he sees a fellow man in need, he helps if he can.

For my walk, I tried to find the places that I have seen the homeless. I grabbed all my change around my house and headed out. Maybe because this venture was so specific in its intentions and that mid-summer day is bringing in over 100 degrees in heat, I had more trouble than usual coming across them. There were many people out that could have possibly been homeless, but they weren’t sitting on street corners begging for change and I didn’t want to be rude. I saw one man near a coffee shop and later on the streets I smiled and waved as he did the same. This simple action made me feel like I did a good deed, even if it was small, as he smiled back at me and moved on. There was a man playing his guitar collecting change. He was by no means a bum, but I respected that he chose to perform for the public on such a hot day and contributed my thanks with coins. I ran into a bum after checking out a restaurant’s menu. He asked me for some money for food from Subway. I gave him four dollars and he gave many thanks. Then he rambled on shortly about his life before the streets, working at a Burger King that, at least in his eyes, unfairly fired him. He mumbled and looked around a lot; it was hard to understand him. He complimented my bike and talked about one he had owned. By the end of the conversation he told me he loved me and started walking in the opposite direction of Subway. I shook my head, but maybe he was just lost. Because of the lack of homeless I was seeing, when I went out for coffee and lunch at local restaurants I was sure to leave a generous tip for their kind services. Later I was buying a movie when a man tried to sell me rap CDs in the parking lot for a bus pass. I did not have change on me nor did I want a CD, but I went to the car I was driving, grabbed what was there, and passed it to him. He replied with a thanks, saying it was probably enough to get him on the bus. There was a part of me that felt guilty when I gave it to him because I felt like he was lying to me. I tried to resist this thought, tried not to hold expectations because there is no way for me to know for sure; it’s quite possible he was telling the truth.

While on this walk, I tried to imagine what sort of things brought the homeless to the streets. There was gossip about a bum who is commonly seen on Campbell Ave between Grant and Glenn with two fistfuls of grocery bags. The gossip suggested that he has money but is living on the streets by choice. I thought about why someone to choose to do so, mostly finding that money is the problem that won’t get solved anytime soon. It brings many stresses that to some are simply not worth losing life; I could see why someone would live without it, but considering the basic needs that would be difficult to find on the streets of a city without money, I wondered what could possibly be the best option for the sake of our mental health, though obviously some kind of middle ground is needed.

I may have more luck with interacting and giving to the homeless when it is more spontaneous and natural; when I’m not looking to help but someone happens to come along asking for it.